WORDS ARE LIKE SEEDS! WHAT ARE YOU HARVESTING?

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seedsOn average women verbalize up to 20,000 words per day and men up to 7,000 words per day. 

Research shows we think somewhere between 70,000-80,000 thoughts per day. 

If words and thoughts were seeds, we’re planting “LOTS AND LOTS” of seeds everyday!! 

The CROP you harvest WILL depend on the SEEDS you PLANT! 

READ THESE WORDS AND THINK THESE THOUGHTS

          • What an idiot!
          • What’s wrong with you?
          • You should be ashamed of yourself!
          • How stupid was that!
          • Why did you do that?
          • That’s not the right way to do it!
          • Really, you’re going to wear that!
          • You messed up again!

NOW THESE 

        • Wow, you did a really great job on that!
        • You do so many things great!
        • You are so creative-I never thought of that!
        • You’re doing great! Keep it up!
        • Thanks for working on that!
        • You look awesome!
        • I really enjoy your company!
        • Thanks for just being you and all you do!

CAN YOU FEEL A DIFFERENCE?

Whether we’re talking to ourself or to someone else, the words and thoughts we use are one of the most powerful tools we possess in our life.

They can determine our levels of happiness, peace, confidence and success in relationships.  They are so….powerful!

Yet, we often fail  to CONSCIOUSLY CHOOSE the ones that BENEFIT us. 

Research shows that 70% of our thoughts are geared towards the negative. 

LEARN AND PRACTICE consciously choosing the seeds you plant!

YOU DETERMINE THE CROP YOU HARVEST

BY CHOOSING THE  SEEDS YOU PLANT!

 

Instantly Improve ALL Your Relationships by Following This ONE Rule!

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GIRAGGEFESResearchers have discovered that if we want to see improved performance in those we interact with, whether that be co-workers, students, significant other, children or family, we need a ratio of five positives to one negative.

When the nuber of positive interactions outweighs the negative interactions by a ratio of 5:1, relationships thrive!

POSITIVITY is when you show support, encouragement or appreciation (“that’s a good idea”), and NEGATIVITY is when you show disapproval (“that’s about the dumbest thing I ever heard”), sarcasm, or cynicism.”

It may be easy to stay positive with friends and acquaintinces, but what about the people you spend the most time with?

How many times a day do you give positive feedback to someone as compared to negative?

Most of us tend to think we are more positive than we really are. Take time to become more self-aware and track how often you are noticing and commenting on the things you appreciate versus the things you don’t like.

The GOAL

“Look for the good and praise it. In each other, in your children and family, in the world, in the people you work with, even in nature. Speak it out loud”

CRITICIZING and CORRECTING is so EASY and NATURAL to do when someone does something we consider “wrong.” Yet, it can strain and stress our relationships.

Make it a point to PRAISE and emphasize POSITIVE behavior.

Instead of focusing your attention on the negative behavior you want to eliminate, accentuate the positive behavior you want to increase!

Research has shown that kids who are dealing with difficult situations and demonstrating difficult behaviors can have their lives turned around by a caring and sensitive teacher/adult who makes them feel worthwhile by focusing on their strengths.

Despite all the research, catching people doing things wrong still seems to be the norm.

Are you wearing glasses that find people’s strengths and positive attributes?

     OR

Are you wearing glasses that consistently find their weaknesses and negative attributes?

To STRENGTHEN any relationship, whether at work, home or school, whether with adults, teens or children, change what you consistently look for and what you consistently comment on.

It can have a ripple effect!

Remember, if you want YOUR relationship to THRIVE, strive for the FIVE POSITIVES TO ONE NEGATIVE RULE!

6 Tips for Developing Positive Relationships

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Positive RelationshipsRelationships are one of the most important things in our life!  We are social animals and need connections with others!

Relationships can be the foundation of our greatest happiness or they can be the cause of pain and misery.

 

Following are 6 tips to develop more positive and healthy relationships!

 

1.  Accept and celebrate differences!  One of the biggest challenges in our relationships is that we are all different.  We feel more comfortable when people are more like us, when they think and act in the way we expect them to.  However, relationships would be dull if everyone thought and acted the same; the novelty of sameness would soon wear off.

 

2. Develop Empathy! “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”   Empathy is a vital skill for successful relationships.  It means taking time to understand where the other person may be coming from instead of judging and criticizing them. Having empathy for someone helps you to be patient and kind to them.

 

3. Notice and focus on the other person’s assets!  Yes, everyone has traits that irritate us!  Everyone also has traits we admire!  Choose to focus on that which you admire.  Who wants to be around someone who continually points out what is wrong with them?

 

4. Compliment them!  Compliments make people feel good, and then they associate you with that feeling, which improves your relationship! Just make sure your compliments are genuine and specific.  You’ll get better at complimenting as you practice.

 

5. Remember, life is like a boomerang!  If you give off positive energy, you’ll get positive back.  If you give off negative energy, you’ll get negative back. 

Love attracts love.  Appreciation attracts appreciation.  Friendliness attracts friendliness.  Cooperativeness attracts cooperativeness.

Grumpiness attracts grumpiness.  Rage attracts rage.  Blaming and complaining attracts blaming and complaining. 

 

6. The words you use are powerful! Be positive, warm and friendly.  Relationships are like a bank account.  When you use positive words, you make deposits and when you use negative, condemning words, you are making withdrawals.  Positive psychology states that in order for your relationship to be successful, you need to make at least five deposits for every one withdrawal.

 

Remember, you will be healthier, happier and more satisfied with life when you are in connected and caring relationships!

If you want positive relationhships, then you have to invest your time and energy into cultivating positive relationships!

Are your thoughts RED, YELLOW or GREEN?

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stoplightAre your thoughts stopping you, slowing you down or moving you forward?

We ARE NOT just at the mercy of our thoughts. We can stop and delete the thoughts that make us feel BAD and hold us back and replace them with POSITIVE thoughts that make us feel good and move us forward!

4 Steps to Thought Stopping

 Step One: AWARENESS!

You can usually tell when you are having a negative thought because you will have a negative feeling along with it.  When you feel the negative feeling, ask yourself, “What was I just thinking?  What was going through my mind?”

Step Two: STOP!

Stop the thought or image by seeing a big, red stop sign in your mind’s eye and silently and firmly shout STOP!  Visualize yourself deleting that thought-like pressing “delete” on your computer.

Step Three: REPLACE!

Instead of telling yourself, “I’ll never get things right,” train yourself to say, “I’m having a thought that I’ll never get things right.”

This little change of wording gives you distance and reminds you that your negative thought is just a thought—it’s not reality!!

Saying, ‘Boy, did I feel stupid,’ rather than ‘I am so stupid’ may seem minor, but there’s a significant difference,” The former describes a thought, and you are not your thoughts!

You can learn to say, “There goes my gremlin again—with that I’m not good enough story.”

This helps remind you that it is just a story and not the truth.

Now REPLACE it with a thought that empowers you.

“I’ll figure it out,” “I can do this,” I’m quite capable,” “I can handle this.”

Step Four: STAND UP!

Have a nice heart to heart chat with your gremlin and remind him of all the strengths and positive attributes you do have.  Tell him you’re not perfect but no one is.  Tell him it’s nice he’s looking out for you but you are fine without his critical comments.  It will feel empowering to find your voice and stand up for yourself! Even if it is to yourself!

As you practice, practice, and practice, you will learn to tame your inner gremlin with the benefit of  INCREASED SELF-CONFIDENCE and belief in your ability!

Use this thought stopping technique every time you have negative self-talk. DO NOT  let it go unchallenged!