Are you a stuffer, a leaker or a gusher?

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Are you a stuffer, a leaker or a gusher?

9701508 - cartoon jack in the box. isolated on white

Ever feel like you’re living inside of a jack in the box?

Often in our relationships, there’s a breakdown in communication.  Some people don’t communicate their feelings, instead they stuff them.  Others just let them leak out and others let their feelings gush out uncontrollably.

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“How to Improve Your Relationships by Mastering Your Emotions.”

Have you ever flown off the handle, lost it or stewed for days about anything?

Have you ever been on the receiving end of someone spewing their anger at you?

Then you know the damaging effects strong emotions can have.

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Take Jack, for example.

Jack is a stuffer.

One day he gets upset with Tina because she didn’t follow through on talking to her boss about getting time off to go on a business trip with him. (“there she goes again—not caring about what’s important to me!”)

But, Jack’s a stuffer so he just stuffed it.

A week later, Tina really ticked Jack off when she forgot about an important work event he had asked her to attend. (“as usual, she never places a priority on what I need!”)

But, Jack’s a stuffer so he just stuffed it.

Then a couple weeks later, Jack resented the way Tina was ordering and bossing him around. (“How dare she talk to me like that!”)

But, Jack’s a stuffer so he just stuffed it.

A few more upsetting situations happened, but Jack didn’t want to “rock the boat,” so…..

Jack just stuffed it.

Now, it’s a beautiful Saturday afternoon and the day is going great, that is, until Tina accidentally spilled bleach on Jack’s shirt.  You would have thought World War III erupted.  Jack was livid!  Tina just stood there in awe, literally with her mouth hanging open, thinking “I had no idea that shirt was so important to him.”

The truth is, Jack hated that shirt.  It wasn’t about the shirt.  After several instances of “stuffing it,” all Jack’s buried emotions came out as venom towards Tina as if it was all about the shirt.

The shirt was really just the “straw that broke the camel’s back.”

Jack’s feelings were like a jack in the box.  Just think of the crank going round and round.  Compare that to emotions and feelings that are churning around and around until the top blows.

We all do it.  Everyone stuffs feelings. Is it healthy?  There are instances where it may be better to calm down so you don’t “tell someone off,” but to remain healthy, at some point, when we are calmed down, we need to express our feelings to others versus letting them be buried alive.

Feelings buried alive never die. They just come out later in uglier ways.

Can you relate? Have you ever wondered why you were so emotionally charged in a situation that wasn’t really that big of a deal?

If we express our feelings respectfully and calmly as they happen, we can help prevent ourselves from having ‘overly emotional’ reactions.

There are reasons you tend to be a “stuffer.” If the other person consistently negatively responds to your feelings, you learn to stuff them.

If you grew up in a home where people weren’t concerned about your feelings, you may have learned to stuff them.

It’s hard to have positive healthy relationships when you’re a stuffer.  Stuffing feelings causes emotional pain, which can even lead to physical symptoms. Headaches are common for people who do not deal with their feelings openly.

Stuffing is also hard on the person living with a stuffer because a stuffer often acts irritable, sometimes without even realizing it.  They hide their feelings but you can feel the negative energy in the air. But, they’ll say, “no, I’m not upset about anything.”

It’s like when someone says, “no, no I don’t mind” but you can tell they are seething inside.

It’s important to learn how to deal with emotions and feelings versus stuffing them so you can maintain good relationships with others.  Stuffing leads to bitterness and resentment, which can come out in ways that harm your relationships.

If you want to seek help so you can stop living like a Jack in the Box, join my FREE, online webinar on Wednesday, November 1 @ 7pm

“How to Improve Your Relationships by Mastering Your Emotions”

Here’s what you’ll learn:

  • How to express your feelings in a calmrational manner (so you can increase connection and caring in your relationships)
  • How to avoid the #1 Mistake most people make that intensifies their feelings of “I can’t take it anymore!” (change this and you’ll be happier)
  • How to get a handle on ‘taking things personal’ so you can stop being so easily offended (then watch your life and relationships get easier!)
  • simple and easy way to stop being so easily irritated and annoyed (so you can have fun and enjoy your relationships)
  • How to intentionally choose your emotional responses even when someone is taking their bad day out on you (so you don’t add more fuel to the fire)

Plus More….

Register by clicking here

If you’d like to discover how Fay’s relationship/mindset coaching or speaking services can benefit you, call to schedule a FREE, no obligation get acquainted session. E-mail: fay@fayprairie.com   Phone: 507-829-0181

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