I shared four irrational thought patterns last week; here are four more this week.

See if you fall into any of these!!

1.       Catastrophizing

Wearing blinders that only allow you to predict and see the worst possible outcome.

• What if it never gets better?
• What if they don’t like me?
• What if there’s just something wrong with me?
• What if it never works out the way I want it to?

You envision and talk about all the reasons why it won’t work out.  This leads to feelings of despair and sadness.  Your thoughts can end up being a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Start envisioning the outcomes you desire! What if UP versus What if down!

• What if it does work out?
• What if everything goes great?
• What if I do a fantastic job?
• What if they love me?

2.       Minimization

You overlook or minimize your good qualities.

• She didn’t really mean it when she said she liked me-she was just trying to make me feel good.
• They probably tell everyone they did a good job.
• Anyone could have done that—that was nothing special!
• There’s nothing I’m really good at!

You discredit your abilities, and downplay your strengths.  This takes away your joy. It depletes your confidence in yourself!

Give yourself credit!

3.       All or nothing thinking

You’re either all good or all bad.  If a situation falls short of perfect, you see it as a total failure. You see things as black or white with no shades of gray. It’s either at 0 or 100 and you don’t give any credit for anything in between.

• She said “no” when I asked her out.  “No one wants to go out with me,”—-“I will never find the right person, so why bother.”
• We had a fight-“It’s useless-we can’t ever get along!”
• I said things that were stupid-I’m such a loser.
• I said I’d do it every day and I’ve already missed three days-“I’m a failure.”– “I’ll never be able to do it!”

Everything doesn’t have to go perfect for you to have successes and feel good.

• Notice the things that do go right!
• Are there times you do get along?
• Are there times you do say smart things?
• Are there times you do stick to what you started?

Change your focus! To correct all-or-nothing thinking, try to avoid unconditional terms, such as nothing or never.

4.       Blaming

By blaming others, you fail to take responsibility for your own actions and choices.  Then, it’s easy to get stuck in the victim role and feel powerless.

• “The reason I’m miserable is because of the way he/she is to me.”
• “I’d be different if he/she was different.”  “It’s all their fault.”
• “There’s nothing I can do to make things better until they change.”
• “I can’t help but feel this way when they act like that.”

When you put all the blame on others, you give up looking for ways to make the situation better.  You feel hopeless and helpless, because you are giving them all the power, versus taking responsibility to make changes within yourself.

• Look for ways you may be contributing to the problem!
• Change things you do have control over!
• You will feel more empowered!

Remember:

• Your thoughts about a situation largely determine your feelings.
• Thoughts can seem true even when they’re not!
• They can cause emotional distress!
• We often don’t even realize that we are having irrational thoughts.
• Once you can label, identify and dissect your irrational thoughts, you take away some of their power.

Could you see yourself in any of these irrational thoughts?

The thoughts that make you feel “bad” need to be questioned and examined!