Do your “Relationship Expectations” keep you in a frustration trap?
Try these six Relationship tips!
1. Stop expecting others to do things the way you would! Everyone is different. We judge others based on what we would do but that’s unrealistic and it creates stress. Visualize a box in your head labeled “Expectations.” Whenever you start dwelling on how people should be or should have been, mentally shelve them in this box.
2. Replace your Self Talk-“I can handle this,” “It doesn’t always have to be my way,” “it will be ok,” “I’d prefer it was different, but who said everything would go my way in life,” “My happiness is more important than stressing out over this,” “I choose to let it go.”
3. Stop looking at the picture only one way. There are two sides to every story; try to see the other side of the coin, and remain objective. Your view is not always the “right” view.
4. Imagine life 10 years from now. Will it be a big deal? Realize that many of the things you’re fretting about don’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Choose to let it go.
5. Stop trying to control others. Recite and Repeat: “The only actions I have control over are my own. The only actions I have control over are my own.”
6. Don’t take it personal. Remind yourself that the way someone behaves is more about them and what is going on inside of them. Continue to remind yourself to “let go” of taking it personally.
Would you rather have a happy relationship or be able to say that you are right?
Great post, Fay! I love your six simple steps. My fave is #2 about replacing the negative Self talk. That step is super important and lets all the rest of the steps take hold. Thanks for sharing your wisdom!
You’re right! Changing our negative self-talk is so important. I find that some people get so comfortable and used to it that they often resist changing it. The negative self talk is a trap in and of itself!
Fay, thank you for the reminders on expectations in relationships and the reminder to see things from others’ perspectives.
I especially like this useful self-talk suggestion: “My happiness is more important than stressing out over this.”
I agree, Elizabeth! I’ve gotten into the habit of asking myself, “Would I rather be right or would I rather be happy?”
Great reminders Fay! #4 really resonated with me, a good reminder of what’s really important! I also remember when I realized that other people don’t necessarily do things the way I do, quite an eye-opener (LOL! 🙂
It’s so easy to think other people should do things the way we do! We often have to remind ourselves that others don’t have to do it the same way we do and it will still be alright!