We have inner conversations, all day long, with ourselves. Our brain doesn’t decide which conversations are true or fantasy; it believes whatever you consistently and repeatedly say to yourself.
Our self-doubts, fears, and insecurities are symptoms of the underlying self talk that is going on inside of us. Our self talk either gives us energy and well-being, or fatigue and misery.
Have you ever awoke in the morning feeling depressed about the day ahead? Have you ever stopped to become aware of what you are saying to yourself? “I haven’t had enough sleep, I won’t be able to cope with my boss, co-workers, friends, family etc…I know there will be too much to do and I can’t handle it today.” “I’ll never be good enough, I always seem to mess up, and nobody wants to be around me. It will be too hard; nothing ever seems to go right. What if I screw up? What if no one likes what I’ve done? What if I don’t do a good enough job? What if I’m a failure? I just don’t have what it takes. Others are so much better than me.”
These thoughts fly through our head at lightning speed beneath our conscious radar. It’s like having a radio playing in the background, but not really paying attention to the words.
We fall into certain patterns of negative self-talk early in life and if we don’t become aware of it and work on changing it, it will continue with us for a lifetime. This constant self talk affects our outcomes in life. If you continually tell yourself, “I just don’t have what it takes; others can do it so much better than me,” those thoughts will affect how you feel, which will determine your actions, which will affect your outcome in life.
The one thing you do have control over is your thoughts; you have the ability to choose effective, rational thoughts. You have the ability to choose thoughts that make you feel better.
Starting today, bring your self-talk into the light; become aware of what you are saying to yourself.
I often hear, “I tried that and it doesn’t work,” or “I don’t have any self-talk.” It takes practice to slow down and start observing your internal dialogue. Just like learning to play the piano or learning to walk; it may take several attempts before you are successful. If a baby were to give up on walking each time they fell, we’d have a lot of people crawling. It takes persistence and repetition to learn a new skill.
How do YOU talk to yourself? Is your inner voice LOVING and RESPECTFUL? Is it COMPASSIONATE? Is it UPLIFTING and ENCOURAGING?
One of the best ways to increase your sense of “being enough” is to change what you tell yourself.
So, starting today, practice recognizing your self-talk, and practice choosing self-talk that empowers and strengthens you! The benefits will be worth it!
Stop BULLYING yourself!
What lights you up? What gets you excited? What do you really want?
Exclusion, or purposely leaving someone out, is a type of bullying. We all have a strong need to feel accepted and to be part of the social group. It can make us feel like a loser when we are ignored.
You’ve heard of cows chewing their cud. This is known as ruminating or regurgitating partially digested food and chewing it again. We often do this with our thoughts.
