Did you Hear That?

Posted on June 7, 2013 by Fay Prairie

We all have an inner critic that talks to us 24/7. Are you aware of what yours is saying?

It’s that internal voice that is mostly negative and judgmental! It feeds your mind fear, doubt, disbelief and judgment.

You’re not good enough!
You never stick to anything!
Why bother-you can’t do it anyway!
Look at you—What’s wrong with you?
You should be more like him/her!

Even though it’s always playing in the background–most people aren’t even aware of it!

Do you ever hear your internal critic telling you….??

“I’m so bad at this.”
“I’m so uncoordinated.”
“I’m so fat.”
“I’m so ugly.”
“I’m too slow.”

You want to make a career move, but your inner critic tells you…

“There’s no way you can do that-you don’t have what it takes!”

You want to approach someone to whom you’re attracted, but your inner critic tells you…

“You’re no match for them-they won’t be interested in you!”

You’d like to try your hand at a new skill, but your inner critic tells you……

“You’ll just fail and look stupid-don’t even try!”

How does any of this self-talk empower you and make you feel good and confident in yourself?

Simple, IT DOESN’T! You are the one with the most influence on how you feel about yourself–what you say to yourself has a massive impact on your self-esteem and your confidence.

Think of your inner critic as a radio that’s been playing inside your head for so long that it’s become background noise and you’re not even aware of what the words are.

Start to really listen and focus on what the words are saying. Examine how your inner critic talks to you. Start to notice how it limits you with its negativity. Next, make a conscious effort to reframe the words into something that is inspiring versus stagnating.

You will instantly feel better about yourself!

Who’s your Manufacturing Foreman? Mr. Triumph or Mr. Defeat?

Posted on February 23, 2013 by Fay Prairie

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iStock_000008183124XSmall-300x300 Our mind is a thought factory; estimated to be producing up to 70,000 thoughts in one day.

We have one of two foremen in charge of our thoughts, Mr. Triumph, in charge of all the reasons why things will go great in our lives and all the reasons why we can do what we want or Mr. Defeat, in charge of all the reasons why you can’t, why you’re weak, why you’re inadequate. His specialty is the why you will fail and have a bad day chain of thoughts.

They are both extremely obedient and all you do is signal either one with a single thought and they jump right into action.

If your first thought is positive, Mr. Triumph will step forward and go to work. If your first thought is negative, Mr. Defeat will step up and go to work.

So, you tell yourself, “Today is a lousy day,” Mr. Defeat is signaled into action and he manufactures some facts to prove that you are right. It’s too hot or too cold, you have a headache and a sore back, other people are extremely rude, and your significant other is distant. Mr. Defeat is extremely efficient and in a few moments he has you sold. It is a bad day. Before you know it, it’s really, really a bad day.

But, tell yourself that today is a great day and Mr. Triumph is called into action. He starts to manufacture thoughts that prove you are right. He tells you, “It’s a wonderful day. The weather is great. It’s good to be alive.” You notice the nice way your friends talk to you, how great the outfit you are wearing looks on you, how energetic and motivated you feel. It is a good day!

Mr. Defeat can show you why you can’t and will convince you that you will fail. Mr. Triumph will demonstrate to you why you will succeed.

Now the more work you give either one of these, the stronger he becomes. If Mr. Defeat is given more work to do, he adds personnel and takes up more space in your mind. Eventually he will take over the entire thought manufacturing division.

Imagine and visualize great things happening, not the worst case scenario that you hope doesn’t happen. When you face a difficult situation, think “I’ll figure this out,” not “I have no idea how I am going to handle this” When you compare yourself to someone else, think “I’m equal to the best”, not “I’m outclassed” When opportunity appears, think “I can do it”, never “I can’t” Let the master thought, “I will have a great day” dominate your thinking process. Thinking “great day” conditions your mind to create plans that produce a great day. Thinking about everything that will probably go wrong does the exact opposite. “Bad day” thinking conditions the mind to think thoughts that produce a “bad day.”

The only wise thing to do is fire Mr. Defeat. You don’t need him. You don’t want him around telling you that you can’t, you’re not up to it, and you’ll fail, and so on. Mr. Defeat won’t help you get where you want to go, so boot him out.

Keep Mr. Triumph on staff! He’ll show you how you can be prosperous and happy!

Posted on December 20, 2012 by Fay Prairie

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We make assumptions about what other people are doing or thinking and then we believe our assumptions are “gospel.”

Then we take it personal, create sadness and drama, blame the other person and react by sending them emotional poison.

You’re walking in the store and you see a good friend. She looks at you and then without saying a word, walks away. You begin to make up stories in your mind.

“She must be upset with me.” “I remember our conversation last week when I told her how I felt about her sister.” “I’m sure that’s why she’s upset with me.” “That really makes me mad because she’s the one that asked for my opinion.” “That is so unfair.” “See if I ever give my opinion to her again.” “How dare she ignore me just because I was honest.”

Now you’ve made up a whole fantasy in your mind that you believe is true. But, is it?

You’re in a relationship and you make the assumption that they see things the same way you do. You take for granted that they should know what you need and want. When they don’t, you feel hurt and think, “How could they do that?”

The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Ask for what you want. If you don’t understand something, ask until you are clear instead of assuming.

The more you “check things out” instead of “assuming,” the more you will see your relationships drastically improve!

How Images Affect Your Perception

Posted on October 19, 2012 by Fay Prairie

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Have you ever negatively judged yourself because your day didn’t go quite the way you wanted it to? You think of the stupid things you said, and the ways you wish you could go back and redo things. “I should have done this or that.” “I shouldn’t have done this or that.” “Why did I do that?” “I feel like a complete idiot and failure.” “Other people probably think I’m so stupid.” “I just can’t seem to get it right.” “Other people just seem to do things so much better than I do.”

As your thoughts get out of control, like a runaway train, the worse you feel.

Let’s say you’re at a party with your new camera. First, you take a picture of a group of people on the couch in the far corner of the room; they look sad, angry and bored. Next, you snap a picture of a group that’s standing around the food; eating, laughing and drinking. They’re smiling, telling jokes and having a great time. Then, you move into the kitchen and take snap shots of just a couple people having a pretty serious conversation.

The next day, you show me your pictures. When I see the first picture, I think, wow, that party doesn’t look fun-they look so serious and it doesn’t seem like there are very many people there. Then I see the second picture, and I change my mind—they look like they are having a great time; eating, laughing, and drinking. Then I see the picture of the people on the couch and they don’t seem to be having a good time at all-they look sad and angry!

There isn’t just one reality; it depends on the angle you’re looking at it from. It depends on your perception.

Going back to the day where you judged yourself so harshly– If you were to take pictures of your whole entire day, there would be many different snapshots, some good, some not so good. Usually, there are some good images. (Things you did well throughout the day)

We all have images that we’re not so proud of, but learn what you can from them and then put those images back in the envelope and put them in the drawer. Don’t keep looking at them.

Choose to focus on the images of your day that make you feel good! Keep looking at those!