All relationships take work, and we often tend to neglect them.
Relationships don’t magically take care of themselves; they need nurturing.
Poor communication and poor conflict resolution skills are the most common ailments in relationships.
“If you assassinate your partner’s character every time you have an argument, if you shut down and don’t share how you feel or if you hold grudges, it’s very hard on your relationship!
These pointers are just as relevant and essential for your family, friends, boss and co-workers.
10 Pointers to Improve Your Relationship
- Listen intently.
There’s a difference between hearing a person and truly listening to them.
Give the other person your undivided attention. There are many roadblocks that prevent us from truly listening, yet truly listening to someone is a great gift to give!
Make time to CONNECT and COMMUNICATE! It can make a world of difference.
- Practice small acts of kindness.
Act LOVING even when you don’t feel like it, because people will always remember the way you make them FEEL.
Be thoughtful and compassionate; rub your spouse’s shoulders or take your close friend to lunch.
- Avoid talking people out of the way they feel or trying to prove why their feelings are wrong.
Most of us tend to respond to other people’s thoughts and feelings from our perspective and the way we feel.
If you want to take your relationship from good to great, one of the best things you can do is listen to the other person and ALLOW them to FEEL the way they are feeling.
Don’t try to talk them out of their feelings, but rather truly try to understand and validate how they are feeling.
At a later time you may be able to make suggestions and pointers but in the beginning listen to and understand how they are feeling.
- Be mindful about WHEN to approach people.
Do your best to ensure that the person you are going to talk to is in the right frame of mind to receive the message you want to send.
If the other person seems stressed, wait until they’re more relaxed to make a request.
Is it better to approach a topic to your partner in the morning before their day begins than at night when they are tired?
- Empathize during conflicts.
CONFLICT is HEALTHY and NECESSARY; but do it respectfully and effectively.
Listen with more patience and understanding so you can truly try to understand how the other person feels. Look at it from their point of view.
Be open to their opinion, just like you’d want them to be open to yours.
- Fight fair.
It’s not conflict that chips away at relationships; it’s how you approach conflict.
“Learn to address the subject, not the person.
Stay focused; don’t bring in stuff from old arguments.
Seek compromise and resolution; don’t bad mouth the other person.
- Be prepared to bend.
Sometimes bending is more important than standing your ground.
Would it really be so bad to give up on a few argument points if it means your relationship will continue?
Would you rather be “RIGHT” or would you rather be “HAPPY?”
- Tend to your relationship’s needs.
Be sure to give your relationship what it needs—be it time, compassion or love.
If you’re not sure what they need, ask them, “What can I do to help you feel better?” or “What would you like from me?”
- Pay attention to the give and take in your relationships.
Be willing to give more than 50% and don’t keep score!
There will be times in every relationship when one person needs more than the other.
- Be someone others want to be around.
What types of people do you like to spend time with?
What types of people do you not like to spend time with?
If you commonly nag, complain, blame and dish out derogatory comments, your relationships will suffer.
If you’re kind, compliment and appreciate, your relationships will improve.
